Alone
by Blank The Snivy
Summary: I'm smart and I can fix things, but is loneliness one of them? One shot. Winner of Best One-shot of '10


I nervously read the passage again and again.

_lone-ly_

_1. a) Without companions; lone_

_b) Characterized by aloneness; solitary_

_2. Unfrequented by people; desolate_

_3. a) Dejected by the awareness of being alone_

_b) Producing such dejection_

That can't be me, can it?

I release a dismayed sigh, hoping that a stupid definition in the dictionary didn't define my very existence. I close the book and place it in the empty slot on my bookcase. During the night I spent my time searching through dictionaries for that word, hoping and praying that it wouldn't have a single ounce of meaning towards me. Now that I think about that word though, I start to connect the dots.

After placing the book back on its respective shelf I sit back down in my swivel chair at my desk and lay back in it. The workshop was quiet except for the hum of some of the machinery deeper in the workshop.

No one else was there in the workshop. It was night time what would you expect, people flooding my home?

Or is that me just making excuses?

Another sigh escapes my lips as my eyelids droop into a saddened expression. I'm smart and I could fix things, but is loneliness one of the things I can fix? Sure, I've put up with it for a while since I didn't really know what was happening, but now that I realize what's really going on, I just don't know what to do anymore.

I rotate around in my chair aimlessly, the room spinning around me now.

No one's around anymore.

They're worlds are growing and yet mine just stays the same.

Sonic's always on the move as usual, saving the world from disasters and being the hero he was destined to be. Sometimes I envy him. Well actually, sometimes I just downright hate him. Why can't I be strong enough to be the hero? Sure I can fly and I'm smart, but I no one believes me when I say I'm brave, or have the adventurous side that would discover new things. No, I'm just a smart flyboy, literally with me head in the clouds.

I get up out of my seat, trying to stop my moping.

Doubt it'll work though.

Slowly, I make my way out of the main bulk that is my workshop and head into the hallways that made up the actual home part of the shop. Before leaving the workshop area, I flick the light switches down and the lights in the workshop go out, darkness quickly swallowing it up.

I close the door behind me gently and walk through the halls of the workshop towards the bathroom.

Picture frames line the walls, all bringing back happy memories. Times when I wasn't as lonely.

I stop midway to the bathroom door and look at one specific picture. It's a group shot with all of his friends on a sunny day at the beach. All the faces are easily recognizable and yet their smiles didn't make me feel any better. It actually made me feel worse.

Cream's face seemed to stand out among them all.

She looked beautiful in the photo.

Her gentle features and bright attitude was something to die for, and yet she had drifted off along with everyone else. She had started school, something I objected since I figured that I could just tutor her, but her mother said no though. last time I did that, Cream complained a bit saying that I was too smart to understand.

I didn't care much about her going to school at first, but then I realized that soon enough she didn't need me. She made friends quickly, then they made plans to hang out and her plans interfered with me plans. The person I love, gone because of my small world not matching her big world's expectations.

I stop staring at her face and switch over to some other faces whom I tried to reach out to.

I spot Knuckles and Rouge in the photo, Rouge with her fingers in Knuckles' mouth stretching his lips so he could smile for the picture since he didn't want to.

Never again can I hang out with Knuckles. He finds me annoying with my scientific talk and he gets violent when I don't leave him alone. One time he threw a boulder at me, telling me I should leave him alone. The boulder didn't hit me, but it still hurt. I just wanted to talk to somebody.

Rouge on the other hand at least tried to help. When I reached out to her, she let me tag along with her on some things. We went out sometimes, like to the mall and stuff, but that never really satisfied me. I wanted some adventure, or to feel alive again, so I asked if I could join with her on a G.U.N. mission or when she's out treasure hunting. She turned me down. She cared too much to let me get hurt. I'm not a kid.

Then I find Amy's happy form clinging to Sonic's body with a smile on both their faces.

Those two have come a long way.

It was a year ago and yet I remember it just like yesterday. Sonic came to me and said that he finally had same feelings that Amy had for him. I thought he was joking at first, saying that he only liked her as a friend, but I was wrong.

He did love her and that same day, he asked her out, instead of the other way around. It shocked her so much she fainted.

Can't say I feel happy for them. If Sonic's not on some adventure he's with Amy. So really, she stole him from me. My own brother, stolen away by either love or adventure.

My eyes then venture over to the last person I expected at the beach outing.

Shadow the hedgehog stood in the picture, looking at the camera with his serious glare.

No one really knew why he came in the first place. It was either dumb luck, or a miracle. No one questioned him though and instead welcomed him.

I remember gathering enough bravery to try and spend time with Shadow. It didn't go very well. I just wanted someone to talk to. I didn't even expect him to talk back to me. I would've just felt better if someone was there to talk to at least. He got angry though, he says I break his train his train of thought when I'm talking to him, so in return, he broke my arm. I told no one of the incident. I figured that no one would care. So I patched myself up and gave up.

I release another sigh before looking away from the photo on the wall and instead look at the ground sadly. The sounds of my footsteps echo through the workshop, the cage that I had built just to hold myself in. I slowly make it to my bathroom and brush my teeth. After that I just look at my sad self in the mirror. All I see in the mirror is a person longing for company and a lasting friendship.

I then open the medicine cabinet and withdraw the last thing I thought I'd ever use.

Pills rattle around in a tiny orange container in my hand. Anti-depressants. I had got them a while ago when I started feeling lonely and sad, but thus far I've never used them.

Better late than never.

In one swift movement I twist open the child safety cap and dump two pills into my hand. My eyes scan them sadly. Don't know if I'd feel better if they were poison instead. I then pop the pills into my mouth and swallow before twisting the cap back onto the container. Then I look at myself in the mirror again.

The person in the mirror has changed and now all I can see is someone alone, sad, afraid and desperate. Alone and sad because his world didn't grow like his friends'. Afraid that his loneliness might consume him. And desperate to escape the loneliness and sorrow. I suppress a slight whimper at the thought before twisting the cap open again. Two more pills go down my throat. I just have to be sure they work.

I don't feel anything. Are they working?

Guess I'll never know.

I make my way out of the bathroom and to my room. I slide my shoes and socks off before crawling into bed and covering myself with the sheets. The lights turn off automatically, and the only light entering the room was the moonlight that came in through the window to the right of my bed.

I just lay there.

Alone once more.

Tears start to leak out of my eyes and into my pillow as I lay on my bed. I sob sorrowfully as I pull the covers over my head, as if not to be seen.

My cries came unanswered though, no one cared.

I don't want to be alone.

* * *

**Eh, I don't know what to say, not really feeling good today. Please review, I guess.**


End file.
